My words and thoughts have lost meaning
I have lost my rooting and my center
Hairy trouble I have plundered into
Headstrong I became and slow suicide ensued
But truth is, and thus I can find
This time upon returning, different I am
Problems, demons, became gifts and duh lessons
Now my words are informed with heart again
Calmness and center
Being right now
Friday, September 16, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
The Boy Who Cried Lake
There once lived a village in a forest next to a Lake. The Lake's water provided for the village and was considered the village's life force. The Lake's water had the power to heal, provide nourishment and growth, as well as the property to cleanse. It was for these reasons that the Lake became an integral part of their way of life.
The Lake and the village were separated, however, by a forest which was constantly changing and where people could easily get lost. The forest reflected what was in a person's heart and made the trek from the village to to the Lake either a challenge or an ease. No villager could follow another villager for too long as they would become separated and the lone villager would have to find his or her own path.
When a villager felt he or she was ready, they would venture in the forest, where they would be tested against themselves, to find the Lake and learn of its ways first hand. Though no one was ever forced to find the Lake, the village depended on those who did.
When and if a villager felt they were ready to find the Lake, they would congregate with others, strengthen bonds and give/recieve support. They would all discuss methods to reach the Lake amongst themselves and the ones who have already found the Lake. The advice they were given was always up for interpretation and in the form of a riddle or parable. No elder ever gave an exact step by step process to find the Lake. You would have to find your own.
This story tells the happenings of a peculiar little boy of the village. He had a lot of Love to give and recieve but fell victim to the inner workings of his own computation. Self victimizing and pitying himself to justify the empty hole of Love that he himself controlled the gate to, he weaved a nightmare of his own perpetuation.
As a child, he took criticism and laughter as hostile, and so as he percieved, it was so. And thus grew his hunger for having to prove and validate himself to others; competition was to be taken seriously with this one. And with those who offended him, he demonized them, seeing that person as a hurtful enemy. Unable to see and acknowledge the good within the ones he demonized, his logic betrayed him and he became hypocrit. Unable to admit he was wrong to those he demonized, his world became smaller and his forgiving gate became locked.
Still he had a good within that would periodically ache inside, so that he might feel. And once and a while he would cultivate this feeling and eventually he realized the importance of the Lake's water by observing the other villager's happenings. Nothing became more important than finding and learning about the Lake, and it became his mission, to prove to his peers, that he was ready and was strong. He wanted to wield what was sacred.
The boy was bright and was an excellent thinker (Something he prided himself with the most), and before he departed, he compiled the advice from others and constructed a theory for finding the Lake. Still driven by spite, he was also driven for the relief of this hostile world. And the forest understood this desire for relief and aided him the best it could. And through much will and mental reinforcement, he approached the Lake, step by step.
It was difficult, and the pain he went through, he kept and made it his trophy. And to validated his trophies, he memorized his method and progress as he searched for the Lake. His mental map of the forest began to take shape.
The forest, infinitely forgiving and understanding, never ceased to offer aid. For the forest understood that the village, its villagers, the Lake and itself were all interconnected, and all nurtures all.
Sure enough, the boy progressed faster than his peers and started to learn the ways of the Lake. Little puddles formed, and glimpses of water would appear and he started to drink from the water and learn of it's workings. Finally, after revelation after revelation, he reached the Lake a different person from when he began. It was much more vast than he thought it would be. Intimidating but to him, felt real.
For those who have reached the Lake, it was a constant effort to return, for the forest changed rapidly. And to those who constantly reach it, are constantly humbled by the Lake's power and the lesson within. Until finally a villager became a master and the forest became a straight path for instant connection and return to the Lake.
The boy's mission in life was to find the Lake and this goal, this end, he did not let go. He did it, and now he was going to return and become recognized by the village. And the village welcomed him home and his peers were eager to hear of his journey, especially the ones who were still unsuccessful at finding the Lake. He proudly bragged of his success and shared his mental map of the forest and his trials. He held himself and his happening above others.
He was indeed a better and more loving happening than before, but he could still not forgive the ones who made his past so miserable. And he would constantly lecture and hold the ones he demonized below him. Soon he began to annoy his peers and so they disregarded his mental map of the forest and started to find their own. And upon finding their own path, his peers began to also find the Lake one by one.
One day he tried to return to the Lake using his mental map, but the forest had changed and he had to adapt. He revised his map and method and after some stumbling, reached the Lake again. Reassured, he returned to the village to hold him above others again. His peers began to reach the Lake as well, but unlike him, went into the waters, and did not use the fact of reaching the Lake the point. Their validation become one with their happening.
Feeling threatened that his peers were catching up to him, he demonized them further. His peers were become beautiful and as he failed to recognize them as equals, he was unable to use the water that his peers returned with.
His map of the forest was becoming more and more useless as the forest changed but still he could not let go of it. Finding the Lake on occasion, it never occured to him to jump in. After some time, finding the Lake outweighed the importance of the Lake itself. And the forest reflected his desire and began to lead him in circles.
He then started lying about the Lake, unable to find it sometimes. He began more than ever to brag and cry Lake. His peers saw through his lies but through growing, became patient with their peer to let him figure it out once again. But unable to see himself as equals with the rest of the village, he demonized the patience as faults within the others. He did not need their pity. He then began to lie to himself.
And as he failed to change his ways, he grew old. He continued to seek validation from the others by brandishing his knowing, but only ended up hurting his peers who were truly interested in sharing. His knowing and happening became seperate and his knowing became unknowing. All the while he kept lying to himself to the point where he was unaware of his lies as lies. And as he feared his fate, so it became.
As his death approached, he began to feel aching and pain from within. The hole of Love ached hard now. Too hard for him to ignore, and too intense for his lies to cover up.
And so he died, and began to cry from all the pain of his life. So much pain poored from his eyes and it did not stop. He cried puddles and soon the water was knee high and rising. Realizing all his faults as more of his body became water, he began to let go and the last of him started to swim. The villagers joined. They moved their village and a new harmony was born. Finally his crying stopped and a new Lake took shape around where he died.
Life continued around this happening.
Taken from Google image search "Lake"
The Lake and the village were separated, however, by a forest which was constantly changing and where people could easily get lost. The forest reflected what was in a person's heart and made the trek from the village to to the Lake either a challenge or an ease. No villager could follow another villager for too long as they would become separated and the lone villager would have to find his or her own path.
When a villager felt he or she was ready, they would venture in the forest, where they would be tested against themselves, to find the Lake and learn of its ways first hand. Though no one was ever forced to find the Lake, the village depended on those who did.
When and if a villager felt they were ready to find the Lake, they would congregate with others, strengthen bonds and give/recieve support. They would all discuss methods to reach the Lake amongst themselves and the ones who have already found the Lake. The advice they were given was always up for interpretation and in the form of a riddle or parable. No elder ever gave an exact step by step process to find the Lake. You would have to find your own.
This story tells the happenings of a peculiar little boy of the village. He had a lot of Love to give and recieve but fell victim to the inner workings of his own computation. Self victimizing and pitying himself to justify the empty hole of Love that he himself controlled the gate to, he weaved a nightmare of his own perpetuation.
As a child, he took criticism and laughter as hostile, and so as he percieved, it was so. And thus grew his hunger for having to prove and validate himself to others; competition was to be taken seriously with this one. And with those who offended him, he demonized them, seeing that person as a hurtful enemy. Unable to see and acknowledge the good within the ones he demonized, his logic betrayed him and he became hypocrit. Unable to admit he was wrong to those he demonized, his world became smaller and his forgiving gate became locked.
Still he had a good within that would periodically ache inside, so that he might feel. And once and a while he would cultivate this feeling and eventually he realized the importance of the Lake's water by observing the other villager's happenings. Nothing became more important than finding and learning about the Lake, and it became his mission, to prove to his peers, that he was ready and was strong. He wanted to wield what was sacred.
The boy was bright and was an excellent thinker (Something he prided himself with the most), and before he departed, he compiled the advice from others and constructed a theory for finding the Lake. Still driven by spite, he was also driven for the relief of this hostile world. And the forest understood this desire for relief and aided him the best it could. And through much will and mental reinforcement, he approached the Lake, step by step.
It was difficult, and the pain he went through, he kept and made it his trophy. And to validated his trophies, he memorized his method and progress as he searched for the Lake. His mental map of the forest began to take shape.
The forest, infinitely forgiving and understanding, never ceased to offer aid. For the forest understood that the village, its villagers, the Lake and itself were all interconnected, and all nurtures all.
Sure enough, the boy progressed faster than his peers and started to learn the ways of the Lake. Little puddles formed, and glimpses of water would appear and he started to drink from the water and learn of it's workings. Finally, after revelation after revelation, he reached the Lake a different person from when he began. It was much more vast than he thought it would be. Intimidating but to him, felt real.
For those who have reached the Lake, it was a constant effort to return, for the forest changed rapidly. And to those who constantly reach it, are constantly humbled by the Lake's power and the lesson within. Until finally a villager became a master and the forest became a straight path for instant connection and return to the Lake.
The boy's mission in life was to find the Lake and this goal, this end, he did not let go. He did it, and now he was going to return and become recognized by the village. And the village welcomed him home and his peers were eager to hear of his journey, especially the ones who were still unsuccessful at finding the Lake. He proudly bragged of his success and shared his mental map of the forest and his trials. He held himself and his happening above others.
He was indeed a better and more loving happening than before, but he could still not forgive the ones who made his past so miserable. And he would constantly lecture and hold the ones he demonized below him. Soon he began to annoy his peers and so they disregarded his mental map of the forest and started to find their own. And upon finding their own path, his peers began to also find the Lake one by one.
One day he tried to return to the Lake using his mental map, but the forest had changed and he had to adapt. He revised his map and method and after some stumbling, reached the Lake again. Reassured, he returned to the village to hold him above others again. His peers began to reach the Lake as well, but unlike him, went into the waters, and did not use the fact of reaching the Lake the point. Their validation become one with their happening.
Feeling threatened that his peers were catching up to him, he demonized them further. His peers were become beautiful and as he failed to recognize them as equals, he was unable to use the water that his peers returned with.
His map of the forest was becoming more and more useless as the forest changed but still he could not let go of it. Finding the Lake on occasion, it never occured to him to jump in. After some time, finding the Lake outweighed the importance of the Lake itself. And the forest reflected his desire and began to lead him in circles.
He then started lying about the Lake, unable to find it sometimes. He began more than ever to brag and cry Lake. His peers saw through his lies but through growing, became patient with their peer to let him figure it out once again. But unable to see himself as equals with the rest of the village, he demonized the patience as faults within the others. He did not need their pity. He then began to lie to himself.
And as he failed to change his ways, he grew old. He continued to seek validation from the others by brandishing his knowing, but only ended up hurting his peers who were truly interested in sharing. His knowing and happening became seperate and his knowing became unknowing. All the while he kept lying to himself to the point where he was unaware of his lies as lies. And as he feared his fate, so it became.
As his death approached, he began to feel aching and pain from within. The hole of Love ached hard now. Too hard for him to ignore, and too intense for his lies to cover up.
And so he died, and began to cry from all the pain of his life. So much pain poored from his eyes and it did not stop. He cried puddles and soon the water was knee high and rising. Realizing all his faults as more of his body became water, he began to let go and the last of him started to swim. The villagers joined. They moved their village and a new harmony was born. Finally his crying stopped and a new Lake took shape around where he died.
Life continued around this happening.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
The Asymptote Who Is
There once lived a point who lived on a plane: one of a Cartesian coordinate system. As this point traveled through space and time, it became a line.
This line noticed how it moved and wanted to move through out life with a uniform pattern. It became a formula. x^2+y^2=16.. A circle
Now the line had order and could measure how it "progressed" by the structure that the x and y axes established. It started to break away and explore the vastness of the coordinate system it belonged to, trying itself out as different patterns and formulas.
And as the patterns changed, it, itself remained in the middle, the observer to its own life.
Going up and down, back and forth, it started to ask questions about its own nature.
It's curiosity grew the more it explored. It wanted to know what was beyond. This line-form was especially fast growing, the other lines thought it crazy for asking such questions. But to this line-form, there was no more valid question and quest than to understand what... who it was.
After being exhausted by going back and forth, it decided to get a bigger picture. "I want to approach infinity." Finally it said.
After much growth and will, the line reconfigured itself into an asymptote. It traveled in an upward position... slowly at first.
As time went on, it's progress became easier and each step builded off the last one. It soon became fast rising. The more it learned what was going on, the more it learned about the system and itself.
One day, it shot up a quite a steep angle, it was growing at an exponential rate. It understood the vastness. And though it progressed every day, it was getting used to the extreme slope and it became less and less of a shock every day. Even asymptotes bottom out. A sense of bliss and frustration engulfed him all at once. It would get used to it.
Looking at itself it asked "Where did I come from?" It could not trace it back far enough.. "I must have always been here."
"Where am I going?" It then realized it was up to itself. It became an asymptote, it could decide to be anything else.
"Screw it with the formulas!" "I define myself... I can be undefined if I want to." "I can be a circle if I want, but who I really am is no one!" "I can be the axes themselves if I want to be. Screw it! I want to transcend this system."
And so with practice, it became formless.. formulaless, popping in and out at will. Discovering a z-axis eventually and axes beyond that. It could learn in whatever system it chose. Constantly transcending.
"I want to have friends" it said. "I will go back to Cartesia and find a line-form who is ready." And so it learned and taught about Love, to those who were willing, together transcending imaginary limitations. Everything was Love in the first place. And so it became full circle, but not strictly in a x^2+y^2=16 sense.
This line-form is still with us today. It is drawing the very lines you see, the outline of your computer, the edges of your guitar, the vibrations and colors of life. It is anything you want, you are it and it is you, and if you want to be formless, the very formation, you can.
This line noticed how it moved and wanted to move through out life with a uniform pattern. It became a formula. x^2+y^2=16.. A circle
Now the line had order and could measure how it "progressed" by the structure that the x and y axes established. It started to break away and explore the vastness of the coordinate system it belonged to, trying itself out as different patterns and formulas.
And as the patterns changed, it, itself remained in the middle, the observer to its own life.
Going up and down, back and forth, it started to ask questions about its own nature.
It's curiosity grew the more it explored. It wanted to know what was beyond. This line-form was especially fast growing, the other lines thought it crazy for asking such questions. But to this line-form, there was no more valid question and quest than to understand what... who it was.
After being exhausted by going back and forth, it decided to get a bigger picture. "I want to approach infinity." Finally it said.
After much growth and will, the line reconfigured itself into an asymptote. It traveled in an upward position... slowly at first.
As time went on, it's progress became easier and each step builded off the last one. It soon became fast rising. The more it learned what was going on, the more it learned about the system and itself.
One day, it shot up a quite a steep angle, it was growing at an exponential rate. It understood the vastness. And though it progressed every day, it was getting used to the extreme slope and it became less and less of a shock every day. Even asymptotes bottom out. A sense of bliss and frustration engulfed him all at once. It would get used to it.
Looking at itself it asked "Where did I come from?" It could not trace it back far enough.. "I must have always been here."
"Where am I going?" It then realized it was up to itself. It became an asymptote, it could decide to be anything else.
"Screw it with the formulas!" "I define myself... I can be undefined if I want to." "I can be a circle if I want, but who I really am is no one!" "I can be the axes themselves if I want to be. Screw it! I want to transcend this system."
And so with practice, it became formless.. formulaless, popping in and out at will. Discovering a z-axis eventually and axes beyond that. It could learn in whatever system it chose. Constantly transcending.
"I want to have friends" it said. "I will go back to Cartesia and find a line-form who is ready." And so it learned and taught about Love, to those who were willing, together transcending imaginary limitations. Everything was Love in the first place. And so it became full circle, but not strictly in a x^2+y^2=16 sense.
This line-form is still with us today. It is drawing the very lines you see, the outline of your computer, the edges of your guitar, the vibrations and colors of life. It is anything you want, you are it and it is you, and if you want to be formless, the very formation, you can.
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